Well, we’re 8 days away from my due date. Baby girl will be here any day, and as my due date approaches, the more I think, “What’s it going to be like?” What’s it going to be like, going from a family of three to a family of four?
Luckily, I have a few mom friends with more than one child and mom friends who are going through this same transition at the same time I am, so I’m always asking for their insight. The most common piece of advice is, “Don’t worry, your heart will grow and expand in ways you didn’t think it could.”
The funny thing is this: I never thought my heart wouldn’t grow. I’m not at all concerned that I won’t be able to “love” this child as much as I love Luca. That’s never crossed my mind. If anything, I’ve been thinking, “I can’t wait for my heart to grow!” At this point, all I’m feeling is excitement. Yea, yea, I’m nervous about the labor and recovery (it’s tough work), but just like you do with your first child, you get through it – we all do. I had a pretty “normal” labor and delivery experience with Luca (you can read Luca’s birth story here,) so I’m only worried that it won’t be as simple. Aside from that, I’m just excited to meet his baby girl and most importantly, see Luca become a big brother and see Lu with a daughter.
Luca becoming a big brother
Luca is such a helper. He loves bringing the packages, taking out the trash, throwing things out in the garbage, helping clean up and vacuum, putting the waffles in the toaster oven, passing me the groceries to put away, and so on. I’ve been trying to prep him for baby girl’s arrival by saying, “You’re going to help with the baby, too!” because I like giving him a sense of importance and celebrating him when he’s helpful and loving. He’s just the most loving, affectionate, and happy baby – I can’t imagine him not loving this baby girl, but then again, everyone warns me about the jealousy. I’m worried he’ll think that he’s being replaced or that there’s a new shiny presence in the house, and he won’t be #1 anymore. Since he’s so young (a negative of having 2 under 2, haha!), I can’t really explain to him what’s happening. I’m trying my best, and he points to everything that’s for the baby everyday and says, “Baby!” and I like to speak encouragingly and excitedly, like it’s something we’re all going to have fun with, a new beginning.
Luca’s very physical and active, so I’m also a little concerned about him being too rough, but Luca is also a good listener. He’s at the tail end of a very aggressive and frustrated stage (like, he was hitting or pushing someone at every single class he went to for about the last 2 months, ugh) and we’re starting to see him come out of it, so fingers crossed he got it all out of his system. But again, I realize these are all things that are mostly out of our control and you just need to constantly reinforce being gentle and careful.
I’m looking forward to our first weekend walk together in Jersey City. I can’t wait to see Luca kick his little feet as the baby girl (hopefully) sleeps next to him (in our new side-by-side stroller!) in the bassinet. I can’t wait for the summer picnics by the pool and at the park, together. I can’t wait for the first kisses he gives the baby girl on her forehead. I can’t wait to sit in the middle of the two in the backseat, staring at the two lives we created. I can’t wait to have our morning snuggles in bed with the four of us.
Lu becoming a father to a daughter
They say little boys love their mamas and little girls love their dadas. From what I’ve heard from other mothers, it rings pretty true. And since Luca was a reaaaaaal mamas boy (and still is!), I’m excited for Lu to get to feel that feeling. But most importantly, I can’t wait to see how he is with a little baby girl. He’s very protective and proud, and I know my heart will just explode seeing him with his baby girl. There’s something so sweet and special about this, and I’m so grateful to be experiencing it – we really lucked out with a boy AND a girl!
Will he be overprotective? Will he be a pile of mush? When she’s a toddler, will he give in to everything and not be as strict as he is with Luca (although I’m totally the bad cop!)? I can’t wait for their bond to begin.
Just a few things that are on my mind at this point:
OMG what is our new nighttime routine going to look like? How am I going to do it when Lu isn’t home in time to help with the bath and bedtime? What if the baby is hungry for milk and it’s time to give Luca a bath? What if the baby is screaming and I’m just about done with Luca’s nighttime routine?
Baby wearing – yay!
I cannot WAIT to babywear again. I loved baby wearing Luca, and I miss it every single day. There’s no better feeling than your baby secure and asleep on your chest or, facing outward and taking in the world. It’s just a convenient and fun source of transportation – and I know I’ll probably be baby wearing even more now, once we become a family of four, especially for getting things done around the house. For small trips and the newborn stage, I use the Solly Baby wrap and for larger trips (ie the airport) and 6+ months, I love Ergobaby. I have all my carriers washed and lined up!
Will I be able to nurse again? Will I love it as much as I did with Luca? Will it be harder? Will the girl not love to nurse as much as Luca did? All of these kinds of thoughts are flooding my mind. Every child is different and there are all sorts of things that come into play with nursing – latch issues, tongue ties, etc. I’m hopeful I’ll be able to nurse again, but, like last time, I have backup ready! I’m also nervous for those first few weeks, when your nipples are just wrecked. I’m wondering if that pain is easier the second time around, because your nipples are weathered?
What are some of the thoughts that went through your mind before your family expanded with your second child?